Bon Appetit: 4 June 2024

Compliments From the Chef:

(inhales deeply)

To be candid, it’s been a long journey. Lately I’ve been trying to approach (sigh) — approach all of this from a more positive place, but (sigh) it’s been a long journey. As many of you may know, El Oso was never really supposed to be about Kylian Mbappe even though at the same time — I guess it was. El Oso was a crescendo. It was a crashing wave. It was the hope that a beloved son, who one day found himself staring at a villain, could now find his own fleeting sense of redemption. A farewell letter penned from exhaustion, drenched with regret, and at times stained with guilt. But sometimes life occurs in a way you don’t expect it…and I guess — you’re simply forced to move on.

There’s a silly cliche Nike ad about this saga which says “Love Your Dreams until They Love You Back.” I don’t know what that means. I don’t know if that’s something tangible. But I hope it is. Dear Kylian, I hope one day these dreams love you back.

Anyway — The Grand Opening of El Oso (Tuesday, June 4th, 2024).

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Welcome to El Oso (translation: The Bear) Edition of The Daily Merengue — a place where you can feel free to discuss all things football. Do not be alarmed by the overt RMCF bias. It’s in the name!

Shoutout to our chefs who do a fantastic job, Valyrian Steel, KungFuZizou, NeRObutBlanco, Felipejack, and Executive Chef Juninho!

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THE GRAND OPENING OF EL OSO

Yesterday was finally the day. Following months of anticipation, a delayed countdown, TIC TACs, an unbelievable amount of TR gifs, turtle + cooking memes, spurned efforts, TOREZ’ salt, RonaldoHBITIM attempting a “House of (Traitors)” coup and rejoicing their temporary success, and years and years of speculation, Real Madrid CF in one of the coldest announcments said the words we have all be waiting for:

El Real Madrid C. F. y Kylian Mbappé han alcanzado un acuerdo por el que será jugador del Real Madrid las próximas cinco temporadas.

(Translation: Real Madrid CF and Kylian Mbappé have reached an agreement for him to be a player of Real Madrid for around five seasons).

Kylian Mbappé Lottin. The boy from Bondy. The young man made in Monaco and refined in Paris. The star that Jose Mourinho simply called “Incroyable.” The World Cup winner. Youngest scorer in a WC final since Pele. The best football player in the world.

Has signed for Real Madrid.

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Today’s menu may be brief but filled with some of the most tantalizing French cuisine – Chef

Course #1: Gougères and Lyonnaise Salad

As the dust settles surrounding the glitz and glamor of football’s brightest star joining Real Madrid’s Galacticos, we are all surely beginning to ask a very simple question — what does this all mean? How does Mbappe fit in to the Real Madrid ethos? How does he fit into our pre-existing formation or patterns of play? What are our expectations for him and our team?

To first tackle the latter question, Kylian Mbappe has joined a Real Madrid team that quite frankly doesn’t need him. This team starring Vinicius Jr. and Jude Bellingham has conquered both Spain and Europe. We do not need Kylian Mbappe to win La Liga by double digit points. We do not need Kylian Mbappe to win the Champions League. That is a fact.

But earnestly, Kylian Mbappe Lottin may make these feats a lot easier…

In some ways this is similar to how one doesn’t need $1M euros to live a comfortable life, but it surely makes paying your bills easier. Yes, Real Madrid won the Champions League during the 23/24 season but it wasn’t a walk in the park. This team won only 3 knockout matches in regulation time. Real Madrid beat RB Leipzig on aggregate by 1 goal. Real Madrid beat Manchester City in penalties. Real Madrid beat Bayern Munich on aggregate by 1 goal due to King Joselu and an absolutely ludicrous mistake by arguably the greatest goalkeeper of all time. We are very much the deserved winners of the Champions League trophy. However, our recent glory should not mask that we only beat Bayern Munich on xG and in various games we desperately needed a goalscorer. Even Jude Bellingham, Birmingham’s Patron Saint admitted after the CL final that at times the game showed how a 9 was something missing on our current squad.

Anyway, hopefully Kylian Mbappe can come help that burden. I’d love to exclaim how the elusive treble should be in our sight (if not invincibility) but realistically some 3rd division team will knock us out of the Copa Del Rey. Only Arda and Endrick can save us there.

Course #2: Lamb Chops w/ Cognac Dijon Cream Sauce + Potatoes Dauphinoise

Now onto the formation. I’ll admit there will be an ongoing debate all summer on whether Real Madrid w/ Kylian Mbappe will be a 4-4-2 or a 4-3-3 or something absolutely bonkers that no one is expecting. I have heard the complaints and suggestions, and I am reasonable enough to admit that 4-4-2 is likely more balanced and makes sense.

But here me out or as KDB once said “LET ME SPEAK.” I’m almost willing to guarantee you that at the very least August — late September (as long as there are no injuries), we will play a 4-3-3. Why?

Club Politics + Marketing + Locker Room. First, and I’ve been saying this for a while, a front line of Vini – Kylian – Rodrygo is an easy marketing ploy and sale. As you’ll see below, media outlets are already promoting the lineup as the next coming of the BBC. It’s likely that their numbers will even match up. Additionally, as we discuss club politics a 4-3-3 likely will be easier for rotations. If we assume that Endrick is arriving, Joselu and Ceballos stay, and there are no other huge departures or signings we should have 6.5 forwards (Arda Guler is the .5) versus 6.5 midfielders (Arda is still the .5 lmao). In a 4-4-2, Carlo would have a massive headache (imo) of trying to find enough play time for 6.5 forwards while having only 2 available places. Yes, I understand there can be some variations where Brahim or Rodrygo could or whomever could hypothetically play in the 4-4-2, but for discussion purposes lets admit that a Rodrygo / Brahim in a midfield 4 will probably virtually be a 4-3-3 in practice. This would be a problem. This isn’t even a Rodrygo problem as much as it would be a Brahim problem imo because Brahim would barely ever come off the bench.

In a 4-3-3, there is clearly Team A (Vini, Mbappe, Rodrygo) and Team B (Brahim, Joselu, Arda / Endrick) with some variations. It’s clean. It’d also be relatively clean for the midfielders (Jude, Fede, Tchou) and (Ceballos, Cama, Modric). I have more to say but little time (and space so I’ll just continue in the comments).

Jude Longevity. My second point is a bit nuance and primarily based off my feelings. I feel like we’ve asked Jude this season to do too much. I feel like Jude has tailored off end of this season because he’s hurt / exhausted / is involved in every aspect of our game. I feel like Jude is best employed when he can make late runs in the box and isn’t expected to fill in front line gaps when Mbappe / Vini definitely drift to the left. I feel like Jude doesn’t entirely enjoy playing that high up the pitch which would occur if the 442 (particularly the diamond) continues as he somewhat alluded to in a conversation with I believe TNT Sports or CBS Sports last week. (I’ll later find the quote). Playing in a free-ish 4-3-3 role grants Jude the ability to do what he likes to do while still impacting our game and not having to also spend energy on ensuring he holds up our goalscoring burden.

More Politics. Rodrygo is a club favorite. This third point is the least inspiring and likely the most bias but even my friends who dislike Rodrygo seem to admit it. In the award ceremony, he was standing right next to Carlo. Carlo stated in a press conference that Rodrygo is important this year and will be crucial next. Florentino Perez always goes out of his way to talk to Rodrygo / ask Rodrygo for his kit. Rodrygo imo is the new Benz. He gets away with a lot that others quite frankly won’t. MMers love to believe that Real Madrid CF is a meritocracy. It isn’t. I’m not sure it ever was.

But that’s enough this is too long as is.

Course #3: A Slice of Strawberry Fraisier with Lillet Chiffon Cake

I swear, I’ll keep this one short. I’m sorry everyone…I’ll continue tomorrow.

Don’t let Laporta and co tell you that Mbappe is going to ruin our locker room. Real Madrid isn’t PSG. Florentino Perez isn’t NAK. Carlo Ancelotti isn’t [insert whatever PSG manager in their history besides Carlo lmao]. We have football heritage. We have 15 CLs. We have history. Mbappe knows that he’s coming to Madrid for his own legacy. It’s his dream.

But also half of the locker room are his friends. At the very least he’s already friends with Vini, Rodrygo, Camavinga (the glue of the team), and Tchouameni. It’s easier to press when you’re surrounded by people who are pressing with you that like you and you like. It’s easier to grind when you’re grinding with your friends. This is a family and never speak on the family, crodie.

My biggest concern is that I’m not sure Mbappe knows how to dance.

One Last Smoke Break:

Maybe dreams do come true?

This Daily Thread is dedicated to…TR.

I guess… We finally made it.